Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has them. As a young adult, you might try your hardest to fit in. To feel accepted. To be loved. After all, according to Maslow and the hierarchy of needs, that’s kind of what we need at this time of our lives. But, as you can probably surmise, this might cause a few problems down the road, especially with our self-esteem. That’s why as millennials, it’s incredibly important to put our B.S filters on high and block out negative things people may think of us. Here’s how to stop giving a f*ck about what other people think.
1. Stop following people on social media that don’t contribute to your life
First of all, you might want to unfollow a LOT of people from social media. Unfollow people that aren’t inspiring you for the better. Unfollow people that make you feel self-conscious. Unfollow people that are not contributing anything in your life but self-doubt and low self-esteem.
You can choose to delete your social media channels altogether or deactivate them for a few months. But if you’re like me, you can’t just delete your social media. You need it to feel connected to the world and your friends. Therefore, fill your media accounts with inspirational, motivational accounts. If you want more positive self-talk accounts, look for pages that use the hashtags #positivetalk or #selflove.
Distractions don’t always have to be negative. Sometimes social media can help you change your perspective on things, including life.
I remember the days I felt too lazy to work out so I would scroll on Instagram to pass the time, and then WHAM— 5 work-out posts consecutively hit my newsfeed. That was a sign (from God) to stop being lazy and go and workout.
Point is, although you cannot control EVERYTHING, you have the ability to tailor your social media channels to reflect your dreams and goals in life.
2. Live shamelessly
Okay girls, I’m talking specifically to you. Why do we get offended by what other women have to say about us? Women sometimes are known for saying what we want when we want to. And because of that, we are labeled strong, outspoken women. But on the other side, we also can be catty, maybe even judgmental.
So with that being said, why, oh WHY would you look at other women for their judgement, especially on our appearance? We should learn to shamelessly be ourselves. If there is something you love to do that might not be popular among other women or people in general (and it’s not illegal or hurting anyone else), who cares? Own your differences. Own your weirdness.
For instance, back when winter was a thing in Georgia, I didn’t shave my legs. It’s cold so what the heck was the point of shaving?
But once the weather picked up and people started having heat strokes left and right, I…still refused to buy a razor at the local dollar store. I grew so comfortable without shaving that I didn’t continue to shave.
And then when summer was around and I was sporting hairy legs and booty shorts, I got nervous. What would other women think?
But at the end of the day, no one said anything about my legs besides women when they saw it close up. But it didn’t matter, because I was not interested in women, and still not. Why on earth would I care what other women would think, especially when I’m not trying to please other people?
Wear a different style of clothes if you want to switch it up. Don’t do your hair if you don’t want to. Don’t shave if you don’t need to. Don’t even wear a bra if you don’t need to! Do things that would make you comfortable. And OWN it. People might call you names. People might put you on Snapchat. But once they see that you’re not bothered by it one bit, they’ll find someone else to try and demean.
However, one thing that may never end will be the talking. People WILL talk about you. There’s a quote that explains that big people talk about big ideas and small people talk about other people.
When people are bored and have nothing to talk about, they talk about other people. I’m guilty myself! I’d do anything to avoid awkward silence so I would bring up other people to add noise. Not a good look. Don’t stress over what people might say about you, because people will always talk.
3. But have a small circle of friends that’ll tell you when you need to calm down
It’s good to feel confident, powerful, and strong. I don't believe there is such a thing as too much self-confidence. Keep a small circle of friends that care and support you in what you do. If you have a dream, make friends that support you and encourage you to dream big. But these same friends should also help you start small.
Have a small group of friends that compliment you and are not afraid to critique you. If you need a second opinion on something as grand as a life decision or something smaller like a big chop, head to them. They’ll hype you up when things get stagnant or boring and calm you down when things get out of hand.
4. Remember that everyone judges
Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist. Everyone judges. Judging simply means to analyze something. Have you ever looked outside to see how the weather is and changed your outfit accordingly? Congrats, you judged. Have you ever swiped right on someone? Congratulations, you’ve judged. It’s IMPOSSIBLE not to, so don’t expect others not to judge.
5. Focus. On. YOURSELF.
The most important. You’re not living to prove yourself to others. You’re living to say, “Man, what a wonderful life I lived!” in the end. Do what’s best for yourself financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Take care of yourself!
No one else will ever live the life you are living. And you can’t make the most of your life if you’re worried about what other people are thinking of you. People will always talk, and people will always judge. It’s time to stop caring and start living the life you want to live.
About Blossom Onunekwu
Blossom is a health blogger and content marketer. She loves emphasizing the importance of self care and eating to live. Her favorite past times include creative Youtube videos, dancing to Afrobeat music, and eating peanut butter. You can read up on her latest college and health tips at blossomthecreativist.com, follow her on Pinterest, or tweet to her @Blossomandblog.