Here's the thing: 2017 was not my year.
I had a big accomplishment: getting my Master's, but the rest of the year was nothing to brag about. I was depressed a good portion of last year, and I couldn't get myself to do the things I needed to do most of the other time.
The other day I was watching this video from the Vlogbrothers called Leave It In 2017 where John Green shares some of the things he is leaving in last year and some of the things he is keeping. Today I wanted to do something similar to mark the first day of 2018! I am even writing this in 2017 so I can really leave it all in 2017 (even though it posted on the first day of 2018.)
Let's smell the (fake) flowers and begin:
1. The Need To Feel Motivated
One of the biggest things I struggle with is motivation. Sometimes I just don't want to get things done and I would rather stay in bed all day. It's not productive, and it's not helpful to all the things that I want to get done on a daily basis. To be frank, it sucks.
So, in 2017, I am going to leave behind the need to feel motivated, because motivation comes and goes. Sometimes you just need to get sh*t done and get motivated later. Yes, motivation is awesome and helpful, but it's not the end all be all.
You can still get stuff done even when you are unmotivated. You can still work damn hard and push the envelope. Don't wait for motivation to strike you, do the damn thing instead!
2. My Do Everything And Nothing Personality
Ugh. This is probably my worst ever personality trait, and if you have followed me for a while, you have probably seen this happen a few times. I get SUPER excited about doing something, try at it awfully, and I give up after giving minimal effort.
That's not going to fly in 2018.
I have to leave that in the past because it's not serving me anymore (it never has.)
Instead this year I am going to be intentional about where I will spend my time, what monetization methods I will choose for my blogs, and how I will go about introducing things to you. I will think, I will flesh stuff out, and I won't just think out loud with y'all anymore.
I will make moves in secret until I feel that I can execute them properly.
I did share my overarching goals for the year with y'all, but I didn't share all the super tiny ones. I didn't go into a billion details. I want you all to know I have goals, but I want to be intentional about which goals I share with y'all.
The list I shared last week was an intentional list of the goals I would like to accomplish in 2018.
3. Following Random Promises To Myself Without Thought
Along the same lines as #2, I want to stop promising random things to myself without some extra thought and energy. When you break promises to yourself, it gives you the right to keep breaking promises. I want to start making intentional promises to myself. No more of this, “I thought this in a dream and it seemed like a good idea,” stuff.
So, before I promise myself anything this year, I am going to be rational about it. I am going to take it slow. I am going to do some research. I am going to consider my own timeline and what I can accomplish.
Slow and steady wins the race, after all.
4. Hating Pictures Due To The Smallest Imperfections
I walk a fine line as a blogger who is also sometimes an influencer. But editing the pictures I take with my dad is my least favorite part of the process of posting pictures. It literally takes me hours because I am thumbing through the pictures, starting to edit them, realizing I don't like one small detail, and then picking another picture.
It's exhausting and annoying. It's like I am trying to hate on my skin, my thighs, my stomach, etc. I just want to provide the best pictures for y'all.
I wasn't as picky as I normally am with these pictures. I tried to let go of the reins a bit, so I hope y'all like them!
It's going to take some getting used to. Being more open about the images I put on the blog is going to be a road filled with baby steps. But I feel like it's a needed move so I feel better about taking pictures and editing them.
5. Being Inauthentic
I am not a woo woo person. A few weeks ago I was in a group with Bri and she was pulling tarot cards. I have never done that before but I asked her to pull one for me just to see what I would get and she pulled the “fearless expression” card. She described this card as expressing my raw and real beauty and talents with confidence and fearlessness.
This card spoke with me, even though I have never done a tarot reading because one of my big goals was to be more of who I am on my blogs, in my freelance career, and in any other place where people might see me.
So, I am leaving being inauthentic behind in 2017 because I feel that my online life can only move forward if I am completely myself with y'all; not just 20%, 40%, or even 99% myself. I am going to share the happy, the sad, the good, and the bad. I am still going to be a great resource, but just a more open resource.
What I am Keeping In 2018
Here are a few things I am keeping going into 2018:
- Laughter: I cannot imagine my last few months if I didn't have the ability to laugh at it. So, we are going to be keeping humor and laughter in 2018 because otherwise, what's the point?!
- Learning: I love learning new things. This year not all of my learning came from textbooks. Some of it came from trial and error, some from videos I watched, some from the people in my life, etc. Even if I don't go back to school to get a higher degree, I want to keep learning. It's my favorite thing to do!
- Y'all: I have no idea what I would have done without y'all in 2017 allowing me to be me. Y'all mean so much to me, and together we will accomplish so much in 2018.